Dearly Daddy Beloved, how much i want to say sorry to you. For my fault, my thought of your presence. I thought that i was not a bad daughter, and even i thought you were a bad dad for me. Although my mind sometimes is right, but i will never stand with that anymore. I want you to stay, please. Stay here with me. Don't go away, keep me in your arms always. Don't ever let me go, Dad. Because i'm afraid of evil things outside. With you beside me, everything is just fine.
Maybe someday i will buy a house for only us outside this town. I want no one, but maybe you and grandma. We can take a little ride by bicycle around the park nearest when grandma cook us something.
Dad, i don't know why i've already hate mom. She hurt me so bad, you should know. She treats me like i'm her step child. I hate it so! When you were not at home, i'm always getting scared. After the school, on the way to granny's house, i feel like traces of blood always follow me home. Every day i cry so hard, when i realized that i've got a life like this. Being with a lot of fvcking people around me.
Dad, how much i really want to cry you a river now! Telling you what i feel now. Telling you about this never ending tears, never ending heartache, never ending pain. I'M IN RUINS, dad. Help me, please.
I ever think about suicide, but there's a reason why so far i still live. There's a lot of things to do, i still hoping i could get the happiness i chase. Hopes. It makes me strong always.
Dad, can you ask mom whether she loves me? Because i'm pretty sure, that she will say 'yes' outside and say 'who the hell are you?!' inside. I knew it right.
Dad, i hope we can fix everything that we messed up.
But if you won't, let me fix my way with no more you or anyone else.
With questioning love.
Nelda Luurk.
Hello! These are about everything in my wonderful life wuzzz ngeng--ngeng--ngeng
Tidak ada komentar:
Posting Komentar